Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Much like getting my Facebook account stolen, Violet Mints suck

Before getting to the candy, I must state that I awoke to a very unwelcome text message stating that someone had taken over my Facebook account. Apparently the perpetrator who was impersonating me claimed that I had been mugged and that I needed money in order to get out of the United Kingdom:

am in a deep shit at the moment

5:15am x
im online D:

what happened

i went to visit a resort in uk,unfortunately for me i got mugged at gun point

5:16am x
oh no!
yuoer int eh UK?

it was a brutal expoerience
all cash credit card were taking off me

5:17am x
..when did you go to the UK

will brief you in full as soon as i return
really need your help at the moment

5:18am x
sure hwat is it

my flight leaves in 3 hours,but am having problem settling the hotel bills,need you to loan me few bucks so i can sort the hotel bills and get a cab to the airport
will def refund you as soon as i return tomorrow

5:19am x
i think ur facebook is hacked

Those of you that regularly IM me over AIM or read my messages, wall posts, etc. on Facebook may be full aware that I am a stickler for good grammar, and if not, for proper spelling and capitalization. If I sent a message with a typo, especially while chatting or IMing, I quickly follow it up with an asterisk (this thing *) with the correct spelling or word.

Don't be alarmed because I am not stranded in the United Kingdom, nor was I ever mugged at gunpoint at a resort there. I think there are more violent crimes involving knives than guns over there anyway, due to their gun control laws. What followed was my original Facebook account getting disabled and the Facebook security team telling me that I could re-activate my account if I answered the security question. The question was, "What was the name of your first stuffed animal?" and frankly I don't think I ever set up one of those questions. If I did, it was probably because this question was on the first on the list or the most convenient to click on. Regardless, I gave up and decided to make a new Facebook.

Anyway, back to lighter, but equally as disgusting, matters. I'm not sure if everyone here has access to C. Howard's (which I initially pronounced Chowards) Violet Mints because I've only seen them at two candy shops. Seeing them in one candy shop is reason enough for alarm. These mints rank up there with some of the worst candy I've ever had. Violet Mints are like the American Smarties' disgusting cousin; they're just as crumbly and they are far worse. A few minutes before writing this entry, I decided to look them up on Wikipedia, and Wikipedia reaffirmed what my friend and I had said, Violet Mints are soap candy. If someone were to take Irish Spring or Dove and decide to make a candy with that flavor this is what they'd get. C. Howard's claims that these are Violet flavored mints, but it may as well just say Lever 2000 flavored.

Smell is an integral part of the tasting experience. For instance, the one time I've had stinky tofu it didn't taste bad, but if you opened your nostrils and took a big whiff it would have made you think twice. Likewise let's take fried pork intestines. This dish is very rich and unctuous (thanks to Anthony Bourdain for using that word so much) flavor. However, it has a very pungent odor that I'm sure would detract some people from even touching the dish. The same goes for candy. You can't have candy that smells like this and expect to enjoy it. I eat mints to get bad flavors or smells out of my mouth, not to make me find another mint to replace the flavor of what I just ate. Like I've said before, they are like American Smarties because they have all the qualities of their more appetizing counterparts, except they have a very off-putting smell that makes it seem like you're eating soap candy. This is what makes certain jelly beans disgusting by the way, which I may or may not get to later. I don't do promises.

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